So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
