Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
