How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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