I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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