Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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