worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i think i just lost a toe
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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