Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize