There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
