I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
