I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
