Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
