using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
