Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
