Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
