She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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