you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
