There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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