you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
