Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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