So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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