she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
