I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Randomize
