So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
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