P.S. I can't hear my feet
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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