his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
