Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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