I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize