The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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