I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
