i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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