I think my vagina is haunted
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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