Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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