nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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