Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
