I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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