my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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