Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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