loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
