Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
