someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
