So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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