she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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