Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
