I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
