About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize