He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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