There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize