But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
