New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize