The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize