look no pants
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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