C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
well you can't waste a boner
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
