Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
this boner is exhausting
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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