New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
