best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
