My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize