i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
