As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
