That's intense
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
