I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
