2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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