I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
