i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
then he tried to convert me to islam
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize