I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize