just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
