Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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