Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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