I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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