she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
