Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
